This is the kind of texts I get from my cousin.

This is the kind of texts I get from my cousin.

Telling myself that I will eventually get someone with “Up dog”

Heading off to D.C to hopefully meet some fellow panda bears :)

Hope everyone else has a great day.

As some of you may or may not know, since forever I’ve never been attracted to Asian women, but my best friend is convinced that I’m going to end up marrying one in the future.

And his girlfriend is also determined to find the right “chink” for me.

Bahahhahah.

It’s ridiculous how I still fumble with words when talking to girls that are just insanely beautiful.

Girl: Oh hey, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you! 

Me: I know right! A few months I think.

Girl: Seems like it. So what’s up?

Me: Good, and you?

Like… really Phil? She says “What’s up?” and you say” good” …. ughhh. 

I’ve never met anyone who had bookmarked porn in my life, until tonight. 

I just never saw the point in doing it really.

I should probably start typing up this paper since, you know, it’s due tomorrow and all…

…but I’m obviously typing this out instead……….. yeah.

So a customer decided to taste her drink that she bought for the first time while I was still checking out her friend, and as soon as she tasted it she said out loud, ” oh god yes it’s like cum in my mouth!”

…..


Her friend and I looked at her and I said, ” uhmm I’m pretty sure you meant that it’s like an orgasm in your mouth….. Not cum..”


Needless to say, she was embarrassed hahahahahhaha.

Adventure Time with RICEaintgPANDA and myknifeplease part 3


dat boot

Essentially me and my interests in one picture

dat boot

Essentially me and my interests in one picture